FORGIVING FAMILIES THROW THE BEST PARTIES | BUILDING GRACE-FILLED HOMES
Pastor Kyle Veach
Every family has issues. Whether you were born into one, blended one, or built one, no family is perfect. And that’s okay. We are all part of the same imperfect team. The real question is: now what? How do we move forward when the people we love most hurt us—or when we’ve failed them?
In Week 2 of “My Imperfect Marriage”, we look at what Jesus teaches about forgiveness in the family. Imperfect families rely on the forgiveness of each other. When grace becomes the heartbeat of our homes, we create space for healing, growth, and celebration.
The Story That Teaches Us to Forgive
In Luke 15, Jesus tells three stories in a row: the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son. Each story reveals the heart of God for what has gone missing—and His joy when it’s found.
“A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons… A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living.” — Luke 15:11–13
Later, when the son “came to his senses,” he returned home ready to beg for mercy. But the father saw him from a distance, ran to him, and threw a party of forgiveness and restoration.
That’s the picture of grace God offers every family. We’ll fail each other. We’ll disappoint each other. But when forgiveness wins, celebration follows.
Parents Make Mistakes
The story begins with a parenting mistake.
“So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.” — Luke 15:12
Just because a child asks for something doesn’t mean they’re ready for it. The father gave the son freedom he couldn’t handle—and pain followed.
I used to judge parents before becoming one. Then I had kids and realized: parenting is exhausting.
You can have the best intentions and still mess up. You say no all day long. You lose patience. You overreact. And sometimes you cave because it’s easier than fighting one more battle.
There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. But there is such a thing as a humble one. When you blow it, own it. Kneel down, look your child in the eyes, and say, “I’m sorry.”
Guarding Against Too Much Freedom
The biggest parenting mistakes often come when we hand over freedoms our kids aren’t mature enough to manage.
Think about the power of a smartphone in a middle schooler’s hands—unfiltered access to the internet, social media pressure, and content they can’t unsee.
We mean well. We want our kids to have the best opportunities, the best shoes, the best everything. But when “best” replaces “boundaries,” we teach them that comfort matters more than character.
One of the best gifts you can give your kids is learning to earn things. Let them work for privileges. Let no mean no. The exhausting part of parenting is that “no” has to be repeated a thousand times—but that’s how wisdom takes root.
Focus on Readiness, Not Happiness
We need to worry less about today’s happiness and more about tomorrow’s readiness.
A parent’s role is not to keep a child constantly pleased—it’s to prepare them for life.
When we give our kids things they haven’t earned, they lose appreciation for responsibility. Entitlement grows. Instead, teach them to contribute. Make work and gratitude normal. Your kids aren’t your peers. You’re their parent—and that’s a sacred role.
Kids Make Mistakes & Foolishness Is Part of Growth
Kids are going to make foolish choices. That’s not an insult—it’s human nature.
“A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living.” — Luke 15:13
Every parent has said some version of: “What were you thinking?” And every kid has answered, “I wasn’t.”
Our goal isn’t to prevent every mistake—it’s to help our kids find their way back from them.
The son in Luke 15 eventually came to his senses. He remembered home. That’s what a healthy foundation does: it gives kids somewhere to return when they’ve lost their way.
Teaching Dependence on God, Not Just on Us
The goal of parenting is to gradually transfer dependence from us onto God. We want our kids to move from “Mom and Dad fix everything” to “God is my provider and guide.”
That transition takes time. As they show responsibility, we grant more freedom. As they wander, we keep praying. What matters most is that they know the way home—to you, and to Him.
Raising the Standard of Faith
Deuteronomy 6:5 sets the ultimate parenting target:
“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.”
When our kids leave home, I want them to carry that verse in their hearts—not just for Sundays, not just when life is easy, but in everything.
That means raising the bar, not lowering it.
Church isn’t optional.
Generosity isn’t optional.
Serving others isn’t optional.
These are not chores—they’re identity markers of who we are in Christ.
When I was growing up, my parents taught me that decisions can be poor, good, better, or best. Veach’s aim for best. That simple phrase shaped my judgment for decades. If we don’t expect much from our kids, they won’t expect much from themselves. But if we believe they’re capable of great things, they’ll rise to it.
It’s Better to Be Forgiving Than to Be Right
Forgiving isn’t just better—it’s right.
In response to the horrific murder of her husband, Erika Kirk recently said, “I forgive [the man who killed her husband] because it was what Jesus did for me.” That’s the model we’re called to follow.
“While he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.” — Luke 15:20
The father didn’t wait for the perfect apology. He didn’t say, “Prove you’ve changed.” He ran. He restored. He threw a party.
This is what every child longs for—even adult children who carry old wounds. They need to see grace in action.
When we fail to show grace, our families assume perfection is the expectation.
That’s a crushing standard.
Forgiveness resets that standard. It says, “We will make mistakes, but we will always come home to grace.”
Forgiveness as a Family Culture
Forgiveness isn’t just an action—it’s an atmosphere. Jesus doesn’t treat forgiveness as a task to check off but as an identity to live out. It’s who He is.
If Jesus is the center of your home, then forgiveness has to be the culture of your home. Grace must outweigh grudges. Mercy must matter more than mistakes. Your kids will not follow the Jesus you talk about if they never experience the grace you preach. Show them what humility looks like. Let them hear you say, “I was wrong.” Let them watch you forgive first.
That’s how families heal. That’s how homes become sanctuaries, not battlefields.
When Grace Wins, the Party Begins
When the father embraced the prodigal, he didn’t schedule a lecture. He planned a feast.
“Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet… We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life.” — Luke 15:22–24
Forgiving families throw the best parties because forgiveness is the heartbeat of heaven. Celebration follows reconciliation.
Every time we forgive, we echo God’s response to us.
He doesn’t wait for our perfection—He welcomes our return.
Many of us grew up viewing God through the lens of our parents. If they were harsh, we expect Him to be harsh. If they were distant, we expect Him to be distant. But Jesus tells this story so we can see the truth: our Father is loving, compassionate, and full of grace.
He doesn’t just tolerate us—He runs toward us. He wraps us in mercy. He restores our dignity.
If that’s how God treats us, then our families should reflect that same heart.
Building a Forgiving Family
Forgiving families don’t just happen—they’re built through intentional choices.
Here are six rhythms that shape a culture of grace in the home:
Apologize quickly.
When you’re wrong, admit it. Humility heals faster than pride ever will.
Forgive freely.
Don’t hold forgiveness hostage to conditions. Grace flows best when it’s undeserved.
Celebrate restoration.
When relationships are repaired, mark it. Share a meal. Tell the story. Throw a party.
Set boundaries with love.
Grace doesn’t mean chaos. Rules teach responsibility, but love keeps hearts soft.
Raise the bar spiritually.
Model church attendance, serving, generosity, and prayer. Let faith be family culture.
Pray continually.
Ask God to fill your home with His Spirit—because only His power can turn broken hearts toward healing.
When we live this way, our homes become living testimonies of the gospel. People will feel peace when they walk through your doors because grace lives there.
Reflection Questions
Take a few moments to pray through these questions:
Which relationships in your family need forgiveness right now?
Where do you need to apologize—to your spouse, your kids, or your parents?
Are you prioritizing your child’s happiness today or their readiness for tomorrow?
How can your home become a place that celebrates grace instead of perfection?
Write down your answers. Then, ask God for the courage to take the first step toward reconciliation.
Closing Thoughts
Our families will never be perfect, but they can be forgiving. The father in Luke 15 made mistakes. His son made worse ones. Yet grace had the final word.
The same can be true for you. Whatever tension lives under your roof today, forgiveness can rewrite the story. Let mercy lead the way. Let humility be your strength. Let your home become a place where God’s grace throws the best parties.
Further Resources
Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earle
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham
