100 Questions Every Couple Should Ask to Grow Closer
Strong relationships are built on communication. Not just talking about schedules and responsibilities, but truly knowing one another—thoughts, fears, hopes, and even the silly things that make you laugh. Whether you’re dating, engaged, newly married, or have been together for years, asking intentional questions helps keep connection strong.
Scripture reminds us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19). Healthy communication isn’t about winning conversations. It’s about understanding each other well and choosing connection over assumption.
These questions are designed to help couples talk, laugh, reflect, and grow. Some are light and fun. Others invite deeper conversation. A few focus on faith, but many focus on everyday life—because all of it matters in a relationship.
Why Communication Matters in Relationships
Communication is more than exchanging information. It’s how couples build trust, resolve conflict, and grow emotionally and spiritually. When communication breaks down, distance often follows. When communication is intentional, intimacy deepens.
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” - Proverbs 18:21
Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that words have power. The way couples talk to one another shapes the health of the relationship over time. Asking good questions helps couples listen better, understand more clearly, and love more intentionally.
These questions aren’t meant to be rushed. Use them on date nights, road trips, or quiet evenings at home. Choose a few at a time and let the conversation unfold naturally.
Fun & Lighthearted Questions (Break the Ice)
What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day?
If we could take a spontaneous trip tomorrow, where would we go?
What food could you eat every day and never get tired of?
What’s a small thing that instantly improves your mood?
What song do you secretly love but don’t usually admit?
What was your favorite childhood vacation?
Are you more of a planner or a go-with-the-flow person?
What’s your go-to comfort movie or show?
If you could instantly master one skill, what would it be?
What’s one thing that always makes you laugh?
Everyday Life & Habits Questions
What part of your daily routine feels the most stressful right now?
What does a “good day” look like to you?
How do you like to unwind at the end of the week?
What habit do you wish we were more consistent with as a couple?
What helps you feel most supported during busy seasons?
How do you prefer to handle schedules and planning?
What’s one small change that would improve our day-to-day life?
How do you usually process stress?
What makes home feel peaceful to you?
What’s something I do that helps you feel cared for?
Silly & Just-for-Fun Questions
If we were stuck inside all day, what would you want to do together?
What’s your most random talent?
Would you rather be early everywhere or late everywhere?
What fictional couple do you think is overrated?
If we had a themed dinner night, what theme would you choose?
What’s the weirdest food combination you actually like?
Who’s more likely to forget where they put their phone?
What’s your funniest memory of us?
What reality show would we survive best on as a couple?
What’s one thing that instantly makes a day feel fun?
Deeper Emotional Connection Questions
What makes you feel most emotionally safe in our relationship?
When do you feel most understood by me?
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself through our relationship?
How do you prefer to receive encouragement?
What’s one fear you’ve had to work through as we’ve grown together?
What helps you feel close when life feels overwhelming?
How do you usually respond when you feel misunderstood?
What does emotional intimacy look like to you?
What’s something you want to protect in our relationship?
How can I love you better in hard seasons?
Conflict & Growth Questions
What helps you calm down during conflict?
How do you prefer to resolve disagreements?
What’s something we’ve handled well together in the past?
What do you need most from me when we disagree?
How can we communicate better when emotions run high?
What’s one lesson conflict has taught you?
How do you usually need space when processing tension?
What helps rebuild connection after a hard conversation?
What’s something you appreciate about how we’ve grown?
How can we fight for each other instead of against each other?
Faith & Spiritual Growth Questions
How has your faith shaped the way you view relationships?
When do you feel closest to God lately?
How can we support each other spiritually?
What spiritual habit would you like us to grow in together?
How do you usually hear from God?
What has God been teaching you recently? (A favorite of Pastors Kyle & Kara)
How can prayer play a bigger role in our relationship?
What Scripture encourages you in challenging seasons?
How do you see God’s faithfulness in our story?
What does trusting God together look like right now?
Dreams, Goals & the Future
What are you most hopeful about in this season of life?
What’s a goal you’d like us to work toward together?
How do you define success for our relationship?
What kind of legacy do you hope we build?
What excites you about our future?
How do you hope we grow in the next year?
What do you want to protect as life changes?
What dream feels a little scary but exciting?
How can we support each other’s goals better?
What matters most to you long-term?
Appreciation & Encouragement Questions
What’s something you admire about me that I might not realize?
When do you feel most valued by me?
What’s one thing you’re grateful for in our relationship?
How do you like to receive affirmation?
What’s a strength we have as a couple?
What makes you feel confident in us?
How can I show appreciation more intentionally?
What’s something I do that makes you feel secure?
What’s one way we’ve grown stronger together?
What do you appreciate about how we handle life together?
Reflection & Check-In Questions
What’s something we should talk about more often?
What’s something we don’t talk about enough?
How connected do you feel to me right now?
What would help you feel closer this week?
How can we be more intentional with our time?
What’s something you want to revisit or improve?
How can we protect our relationship from burnout?
What helps you feel prioritized?
What’s one thing you want to celebrate about us?
What do you need most from me right now?
Light Closing Questions
What’s your favorite memory we haven’t talked about recently?
What’s something small that brings you joy lately?
What do you love most about doing life together?
What makes you feel hopeful?
What’s something you’re proud of us for?
How can we make more space for fun?
What makes our relationship unique?
What’s one thing you’re thankful for today?
What’s something you’re excited about this week?
What’s one word you’d use to describe us right now?
Further Resources
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
“Love in the Bible” Resources - Bibleproject.com
“75+ Date Night Questions for Christian Couples” - faithfullyplanted.com
“God’s Plan for Marriage” - Blog post by Pastor Kyle Veach of Discover Church
